Upfronts 2014

by Colin McGuire. 0 Comments

Welp. As I alluded to on Friday, we missed this year’s upfronts. That’s sad, right? So. So. Sad. After taking time to ramble nonsensically, offer some trailers, and provide three bullet points for NBC, CBS, ABC and Fox through the past couple years, this time around, we got … a brand new website dedicated to local music? Bah. Still sad, I know.

In any case, instead of plowing ground that’s already been harvested (is that even a correct sentence?), I thought we’d condense all four of the major networks’ presentations into one post. And by “condense all four of the major networks’ presentations into one post,” of course, I mean, “Here’s some of Lisa De Moraes’ greatest hits, a few videos and a link to the fall schedule.”

First, let’s start with some of the best lines the Greatest TV Writer In All The Land offered during her live blogs of each presentation.

On appearances from cast members of NBC’s most successful shows:

Taped message from “The Voice” judge panel, including Gwen Stefani and Pharrell Williams is mostly a discussion as to how much they love “buttloads” of money. James Spader appears via video and talks about the “Vile Subset of humanity…referring to you.” “I don’t know what to say about that,” Greenblatt says after its over, suggesting advertisers should just cough up the CPM increase Spader’s looking for.

On Tina Fey’s new show:

Greenblatt making-noise-is-important-to-us rush through the network’s midseason plans. But Tina Fey’s new comedy gets the video-included treatment which implies special love. “Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt” is about a young woman released after years living underground with a cult leader and is now a fish out of water in Manhattan, where she makes observations like “Dancing is about butts now,” and urges on her new aspiring-performer roommate “You are going to sing at the Grammys with Whitney Houston and Michael Jackson!” and asks such questions as “How many Kardashians are there?”

On the new Fox series “Utopia”:

Reilly also plugs new reality series “Utopia” as one of those gotta-watch-it-live shows, a “big social experiment” in which people who want to be stars — or at least famous — commit to living in some hell of an isolated location for an entire year and create their own Real World from scratch, for John de Mol who, Reilly says, is one of the people who put reality on the map.

On the reworking of British hit series “Broadchurch”:

Drama series “Gracepoint” and “Wayward Pines” get the Upfront video treatment. Long-ish, good-looking videos, of which advertisers in the hall seem to approve, based on applause. “These two series have nothing in common, except you cannot turn them off,” Reilly says. Plus, he boasts, the mysteries for each show conclude in 10 episodes, “rather than five years,” as if the five-year mystery solving plan was something foisted upon broadcast networks by an evil outside force, like the FCC. “Gracepoint,” about a young boy found dead on a beach in northern California, is paired with “Bones” in the fall. Earlier in the day, talking to The Reporters Who Cover Television, Reilly revealed that “Gracepoint,” a reworking of hit UK whodunit “Broadchurch,” which has already aired in this country on BBC America, will have a different ending so that “Broadchurch” fans can’t spoil it — apparently renaming it “Gracepoint” wasn’t enough of a deterrent.

That’s funny. That’s very, very funny.

So, how about some trailers?

Here’s about five minutes on CBS’ “Madam Secretary,” which is slated to air in the time slot before the best show on television today, “The Good Wife.” It stars Téa Leoni. She’s the Secretary of State. That’s about all you need to know about that.

YouTube Preview Image

Here’s the trailer for the aforementioned “Gracepoint,” which is the aforementioned “Broadchurch” rip-off. 

YouTube Preview Image

And finally, here’s three-and-a-half minutes of “American Crime,” which comes from somebody involved with “12 Years A Slave.” The people at ABC call it “one of most blistering pieces of raw film ever scheduled on broadcast television.” Whoa, there.

YouTube Preview Image

For those interested in checking out each network’s fall schedule, click here. For those interested in checking out the website that got in the way of our upfront coverage this year, click here. And, for those interested in the second season of “Orange Is The New Black” … well, sit tight. We may just have something in store.

Leave a Reply