Posts Tagged “MTV”

Grading MTV’s VMAs.

by Colin McGuire. 0 Comments

Welp. For the last two years here (and what seems like 5,302 years at other outlets) I've taken to the World Wide Internet to blab about MTV's Video Music Awards. And because I'm nothing if not consistent, it's now time to make it year three of the VMAs on the FNP (and yes, if you could think of another acronym, it would have been used in this sentence). As is always the case (thanks again, archive system!), we will grade the show based on five different categories: Awards, performances, host, ... read more

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‘O’ No, MTV (Part 4)

by Colin McGuire. 0 Comments

MTV is nothing if not obnoxious. Don't believe me? Take about four-and-a-half minutes. Click over to its website. Pick two stories. Read them. Walk up to a wall. And shudder as you feel the desire to bang your head against it wash over you like a warm rain in August. If the abundance of Internet-specific acronyms doesn't make you gag, the atrocious middle-school-cheerleader-undertone should do the trick.

And it's a shame, too, because its kitschy approach to content development/presentation tends to overshadow some pretty solid ideas. The most blatant example of such is the O Music Awards, or, as some may know it, MTV's pathetic attempt at establishing itself as a destination for innovative online programming. It's like allowing a gang of 16-year-olds to run Bank of America. Imagine the statements you would receive every month: "You have overdrawn your account by $56.59 LOL!"

This blog, in all its ignored glory, has taken to the World Wide Internet in the wake of the show's previous three ceremonies, and because we here at TV Without A TV enjoy both consistency and anger, it's now officially time to take a look at the thing's fourth installment. And by "look" I mean, "unfairly criticize," of course.

That's the thing, though: The gripes about this stuff are far from unreasonable. More often than not, each O Awards webcast feels like a midterm project for overly enthused undergrads. Why the network would treat the process with so little respect and attention drives beyond stupid and parks somewhere near offensive. Nobody is asking you to give out these awards, guys. If you don't care about how cheap it looks, why do it?

But I digress. This particular ceremony (the brilliant minds at the network once offered up two of these things in one year, so you can't really use the phrase "this year's ceremony," now can you?) devolved further than its predecessors. The token world-record-breaking-moment came in the form of Andrew W.K. going for ... Longest Drum Session in a Retail Store, a name that appeared to literally be made up on the spot by some bellhop in a blazingly yellow jacket. He went from a Wednesday to a Thursday playing the drums for exactly 24 hours.

Yes. When he likes to party, he likes to party hard.

W.K. looked genuinely spent after crossing the one-day mark, as the hosts for the thing (those two comedy twin-dudes who for reasons unbeknownst to anyone with a funny bone and a working pulse continue to land work on every single faux countdown the MTV family of networks cobbles together), awkwardly faked their way through an uncomfortable amount of enthusiasm. ?uestlove showed up. Hanson performed the one song off their new record that made me write this, and subsequently get attacked by some MMMbop diehards (seriously: Check out those comments). We learned that the former TRL studios haven't yet been turned into a homeless shelter. And — surprise! — Tokio Hotel won something.

To rub salt in the wound, we then found out that the most popular music television network this world has ever seen actually pays American currency to someone to write this ...

"OH MAN! OH MAN! OH MAN! That’s about all we can say at present, as our brain has leaked out of our ears and pooled on the floor. The O Music Awards have officially drawn to a close — yup, after 24 hours, 16 awards, 5 kittens, one goat and an entire day of drumming from our official HERO Andrew W.K. we can finally reveal all the winners and revel in glorious, sleep-deprived abandon. Yup, kids, after more than 100 million votes — 100 freaking MILLION — MTV, VH1, CMT and LOGO’s O Music Awards ended tonight with one final loud crashing beat of a drum. During the course of the 24-hour event, awards were doled out in categories like 'Best Artist Instagram,' 'Best Music App,' and 'Fan Army FTW.'"

Wait. Then there's this sentence:

"For the first time, the O Music Awards also featured our wildly popular 'Make a Band Famous' award and opportunity."

So ... it was the first time the thing was ever given out, yet it's also "wildly popular?" Wait ... what?

Anyway, the point is this: If I could link the other three posts about the other three O Music Awards ceremonies (thank you again, archive system), you would see how much hope I once had for such a forward-thinking notion. Television is moving toward the Internet, so why not have an Internet-specific trophy show? It was ahead of its time, I contended, not without a fair share of skepticism. Work a few kinks out, find a captain willing to steer the ship and watch as the whole process grows into something people can look forward to and talk about.

But that's not what has happened. It's essentially become a mockery of a travesty. Or a travesty of a mockery. Or a travi-sham-ockery. It's not even watch-able. No, like, seriously. It's very literally not watch-able. Why? Because nobody with a steady job and/or life that includes an adequate amount of sleeping hours could watch it all. That's what happens when you toy with a 24-hour format that is so heavy on filler that it's less substantial than a McDonald's hamburger. A hundred million votes mean nothing, if none of those 100 million people have any idea about how or when to find out if their vote went toward a winner. There's no focus on sustainability, no desire to build something that could last. Click away at nominees with the last name Jonas, sure. But at what point will the people producing the show actually expect those teeny-boppers to stick around to see who won something called the Friday Friday Award?

In short, it's too disorganized to be appealing to those who might care about seeing the show succeed, yet the implications of its existence are too serious to be taken with only a mere grain of salt. The promise of such an approach knows no bounds, but if the fourth edition of this artist and pony show is any indication, it's hard to believe that the thing has any type of future. And that's sad. Because, like it not, there will be an audience for this type of stuff. It might not be today or tomorrow, but it will be here. Silly production or not. 

And so it goes. For those who might want to check out the show's highlights, head on over to http://www.omusicawards.com. For those who want nominate their cat for "Favorite Musical Cat" for the next time this thing comes around ... well, I've got nothin' for you.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Video Music Awards (part 2)

by Colin McGuire. 0 Comments

My guess is that it's pretty hard to put on an MTV Video Music Awards broadcast. I'm not doubting that. Performances. Egos. Awards. Tributes. Crowds. Interviews. "Twilight" clips deemed "exclusive." It takes all these things to produce one, tiny awards program, and it would be idiotic to claim that countless hours of work and preparation don'tgo into such a production. But, man ... what the hell was that? The 2012 Video Music Awards are now in the books, and much like we did last year, ... read more

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‘O’ no, MTV Part 3

by Colin McGuire. 0 Comments

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me a third time ... With the climax coming Thursday night, edition No. 3 of MTV's O Music Awards proved to be the most talked-about rendition yet. Why is that, the disembodied voice asks? Simple: The Flaming Lips. But we'll get to that in a second. First, lest we remind you of exactly what the MTV O Music Awards is. For those who don't recall Matt & Kim's awkward attempt at hosting a live television show during the initial ... read more

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‘O’ no, MTV Part 2

by Colin McGuire. 0 Comments

"… So, what good came from this? … In case you missed the last two paragraphs, this was a good idea. It's something other awards show entities will flock to as the years go on (what? you mean to tell me there won't be some type of Web-related aspect to the Academy Awards ceremony in 50 years?). It's just that the execution was poor. And that's all. You can't blame MTV, a network that has been more criticized in the last 20 years than any American president, for looking forward when thinking ... read more

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Ladies and gentlemen, the Video Music Awards

by Colin McGuire. 0 Comments

For the last trillion years, I have taken to newsprint and the various forms of the InterWebs to offer musings about MTV's Video Music Awards shortly after they occur. This has become a yearly tradition for me. It's something I have grown to look forward to, and it's honestly one of the few things that I consider fun anymore. Luckily, I have obtained this silly, little blog since moving to the area all the way back in January, thus allowing me another forum to post my irrelevant thoughts on such ... read more

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‘O’ No, MTV

by Colin McGuire. 0 Comments

Hey, remember when the "TV" in "MTV" stood for television? I know, I know. Those were the good old days, weren't they? It was a time of Real World/Road Rules Challenges. A time filled with programming keen on fake reality and after-dark Tila Tequila madness. It was a time long after the "M" stopped meaning "music," though long before the "TV" was restricted to a simple box in one's living room. Enter the MTV O Awards, a ceremony held last Thursday (because, as Rebecca Black so poignantly put it ... read more

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