In a moment of boredom, I decided to look at my past articles and reminisce about the person that I was when I wrote them. I have been writing a column for about three years now and that equals many articles when you write monthly!
The funny thing for me when I read my past writings is that I can see myself changing into a different person over the three year span. I started writing as a middle schooler and now I am in high school. A lot has happened in that time frame. I can see a change in myself from my first article to my most recent.
I dont mean to say that I have only grown as a writer but I have also grown as a person. However, this growth reflects into my writing. Maybe others would not notice this, but as I read my old work I feel like I am reading something a kid wrote for a school project. I still am a kid now, but as I am reading all I can think is Did I really write this? Really?
I definitely am not embarrassed by what I have written since it was a reflection of myself of that time that I had written it. But if I were to rewrite some of my past articles I probably would not even start them to begin with.
In a sense I guess there is some humor in the fact that I think that my past self had poor taste in choosing topics to write about. I dont think that I always wrote about things that I was really knowledgeable about. There are even a few articles that I started laughing while reading. Did I think that I was a therapist, writing and giving advice on different issues?
I am not too sure at what point that I totally became a new person. Actually, I do not think that there was a specific point.
I think that we are always changing. We will never be the same person that we were a week ago, a month ago, a year ago, five years ago. When we go around meeting new people and seeing new things our opinions and sense of self are always changing.
Sometimes, when a certain event occurs or when we witness something that really makes us think about things, that is when a sudden change is seen.
An example would be transitioning from middle school to high school. I do not think there is a big difference between a seventh and an eighth grader, but the behavioral difference between an eighth and a ninth grader could not be larger.
Who knows why that is? Maybe its something in the water.
The big point that I am trying to come to is that we cannot be resentful or upset with our past choices. Of course, I am not going to get too upset over something I wrote. Its not like I killed an animal and had to live with the guilt and pain of that action.
In some cases, we wish we had a time machine so a certain event never took place. Unfortunately, time machines are not available to the public so we are left to deal with our choices. Like Oscar Wilde said, No man is rich enough to buy back his past.
Living in the past stops you from living in the present; whether you regret your choices or if you strongly stand by them, all you can do is learn from them and keep on going.
Ariana Sadoughi writes a regular column for fredericknewspost.com.