Doing life for the wrong reasons

by Ken Rupert. 0 Comments

Are you living your life for all the wrong reasons? Are you in pursuit of things or are you in service to your dreams? These are some of the questions you have to answer if you are to determine for what your life is going to stand. My intent with this posting is to call into question why you do what you do. Even if you are doing nothing with your life, you are motivated to stay where you are because there is something that keeps you there. Your task, and my job, is to identify your anchors and to weigh anchor and begin to move forward with purpose.

Have you ever been asked a rhetorical question and had an insatiable desire to answer it? That question is a classic example of itself. If you wanted to say yes, then you know what I am saying. The other day I was asked by a leader from a life coaching organization, “How well is your current business model helping you build the life you truly want to live?” As I cogitated on the premise of the question, it hit me. The question pre-supposes that the reason The Vita-Copia Group exists, the reason for me developing my life coaching business, is to create a life that I desire to live.

In one sense the presupposition is correct. Why would you enter into a business if there was not a level of pay-off? After all, our behaviors always have a driver, something that motivates us to do what it is we do. However, the question insinuates that the life you truly want to live is one of wealth and pleasure. Based on the VMP statement of The Vita-Copia Group, I started my business to build the life I truly want to live; that being a life of giving and serving others in the achievement of their desires. Making that statement makes me a little uneasy because if you are reading this you might get the wrong impression since you do not have knowledge of the VMP statements to which I am referring. So, to set the context of my response, I want to give you access to the VMP statements I mentioned.

First, let me explain the VMP acronym. VMP stands for a person’s vision, mission, and purpose statements. It should represent the essence of who a person wants to be and for what a person stands. This is also true in the business sense. When it comes to The Vita-Copia Group, my answer to the question “How well is your current business model helping you build the life you truly want to live?” would be to a high degree, am I truly living out the core of my Vision, Mission, and Purpose? My VMP for The Vita-Copia Group is as follows.

VISION: To have been a stalwart agent of sustainable change, having built pathways of success that have positively impacted the lives of individuals, couples, and families with direction, growth, and opportunity based on the specific needs and desires of each individual.

MISSION: To build pathways of success that change the dynamics of “the game” through the purposeful and strategic manipulation of the given economic, social, and political environment so that each individual can achieve his or her own personal goals, produce his or her own desired results, and maximize his or her own full potential as designed by God.

PURPOSE: To provide the opportunity for each individual to realize his or her greatest potential so that he or she can affect his or her sphere of influence throughout his or her life.

In answering the question posed to me by the leader, I would reframe the question by putting the question into the context of the Vita-Copia Group’s VMP. For example, “How well is my current business model helping me be a stalwart agent of sustainable change? How well is my current business model helping me build pathways of success that have a positive impact on the lives of individuals, couples, and families? How well is my current business model helping me impact those individuals, couples, and families with providing direction, growth, and opportunity?”

As you can see, the original question is actually bigger than the person asking the question realizes. The original context of the question was focused on whether the business model was providing for my desired levels of wealth and pleasure from a worldly perspective. However, when you reframe the question to your VMP statements, you are really asking “Does the current business model provide the structure to assist you in being the person you desire to be? It is not about gaining what you desire in this life, it is about being what you desire to be throughout your life.

I always find it intriguing talking with people about what they do and how they feel about what they do. You would be surprised by how many successful people tell me that they are not satisfied with their life. It is strange that a person can gain so much and feel as though he or she has so little. I believe that this phenomenon exists because so little of what we do actually connects to who we are. My passion is to assist as many people as possible in developing their vision, mission, and purpose statements. I believe that this exercise will dramatically change how people look at their lives and how they begin to relate to the world around them.

Some of the questions I ask clients are designed to narrow the focus of the client so that the client can achieve the desired outcomes in a quicker amount of time. After asking a client specific questions, I can focus on the client’s responses and what he or she is telling both verbally and through his or her body language. Then together, we map a strategic pathway that is designed to move the client towards his or her personal vision, mission, and purpose (VMP) statements. If the client does not have a personal VMP statement, I help the client develop one. This is the critical starting point for every client. If the client cannot identify his or her sustainable target, he or she cannot truly gain purposeful and achievable focus.

The typical life coaching client is professionally successful yet personally unsatisfied. He or she could be facing a life transition or have too many irons in the fire. Maybe he or she is lacking peaceful direction or is looking to elevate his or her life to the next level and wants his or her life to be more fulfilling. This picture might be descriptive as typical, but there are really no typical life coaching clients. Each individual is a unique person, with different experiences and motivators, who is looking for more meaning, purpose, and accomplishments in his or her life. The closer a person moves towards his or her core essence, the more meaning and purpose is brought to his or her life. I use a series of questions to draw out a person’s passions for success.

The most important question I ask is, “If you are standing at the end of your life looking back, could you say that you have lived your life true to the essence of who you are?” On a very basic level we all want out lives to count for something. If you do not know who you are at your core, you will have a difficult time answering yes to this question. As a Board Certified Master Christian Life Coach, it is my responsibility to lead a person to define his or her core and then begin the process of moving towards that core. Other questions I would ask are, “What three things must you do every day to feel fulfilled?” “What are your five or six most important values?” “If money was not an issue and you never had to work another day in your life, how would you spend your time?” and finally, “When your life is ending, what will you regret not doing, seeing, or achieving?”These are just a few starter questions. As the coaching relationship develops, the depths of personal success and fulfillment are limitless.

Material possessions, though pleasurable, cannot improve the essence of who you are. Whether you are a business person or an individual who wants to make an impact and leave a legacy, you have to move beyond the material and find your core essence. Take the time necessary to reframe your life through the process of developing a vision, mission, and purpose for your life. If you are interested in gaining a better perspective of whom you are and what your life stands for, then contact me and let’s get started on your personal success coaching plan now. You can reach me by email (ken@kenrupert.com) or by visiting my website (http://kenrupert.com) and using the contact form. I am looking forward to working with you as you embark on the journey of a lifetime. 

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