There’s a “My Girl” video game …

by Michael Hunley. 0 Comments

… and it will crush your soul.

If you’re a Millennial or a lover of all things Richard Masur (and who isn’t!?), then you’re most likely familiar with the popular 1991 dramedy “My Girl,” about a young girl’s coming of age in the early ’70s. It was a breakthrough performance for actress Anna Chlumsky (currently co-starring in the hilarious HBO comedy “Veep”) and the first big film project for Macaulay Culkin after the success of “Home Alone.”

“My Girl” also featured — SPOILER ALERT — one of the most tear-jerking of all tear-jerker endings ever: Culkin’s character, Thomas J., dies after getting stung by bees and suffering an allergic reaction. Chlumsky’s cries of “HIS GLASSES! HE CAN’T SEE WITHOUT HIS GLASSES!” during Thomas J.’s funeral have haunted my dreams since seeing the film as a 6-year-old.

And now, some evil computer nerds have decided to memorialize this heartbreaking ending with a tongue-in-cheek 8-bit online game.

My Girl video game

(Not pictured: Me, playing this game, ugly-crying hysterically and screaming, “Oh, no! Not the bees! NOT THE BEES!”)

After being greeted by the title card “Accept your fate,” the player takes the role of Thomas J. and, after walking around for a bit, is suddenly attacked by a swarm of bees. There’s no way to escape or fight the bees, though — you just have to give in to the stings and accept your ’90s-nostalgia-tinged death.

This is just devastating. It’s like seeing Mufasa viciously murder Old Yeller before being shot by the dude who killed Bambi’s mom. DEVASTATING.

Whatever these gamer nerds do next, please don’t recreate the ending of “Thelma & Louise” — I just can’t take it. Leave it for the inevitable Broadway musical adaptation.

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