I don’t really know much about the Met Gala — just that it’s an annual fundraising event where celebrities get together and look as awful as possible. The theme of this year’s event was “Charles James: Beyond Fashion,” though, upon looking at these photos from the Associated Press, I think “The Effect of Bath Salts on Fashion” would have been more appropriate.
So I present to you the awards for the most memorable looks of the night, because when a celebrity comes out in public wearing these bedazzled disasters (bedazzsters?), oh, you know Imma have to make fun of them:
Winner of the “If Voldemort Competed on ‘RuPaul’s Drag Race'” Award.
Best Interpretation of the Movie “Xanadu” Through A Different Medium — Category: Costume.
The “If Hot Topic Made Prom Dresses” Dress.
Most likely to influence Tim Burton to direct “Mr. Peanut: The Movie.”
The winner of the Drunkest Ballerina Prostitute Prize.
HUGH JACKMAN AND HIS WIFE, DEBORRA-LEE FURNESS
Best Beard … if you know what I mean … .
Best Use of the Wallpaper I Had In My Bedroom When I Was 6-Years-Old.
The Shady Pines Award for Best Dress Color Most Likely Influenced by an Episode of “The Golden Girls.”
The Adele Dazeem Lifetime Achievement Prize for the murder of Big Bird’s albino cousin to make the hem of that dress.
Best Use of Miss Piggy’s dog Foo Foo as Water Wings.
The prestigious How Did She Get Invited? certificate goes to celebrity chef Sandra Lee, who accepted her award dressed as the Swiss Miss girl in a wedding dress that she did NOT need to say yes to.
The “Is … Is That Blood? Or Chocolate? What IS That?” prize goes to whatever is on Katie Holmes’ dress.
The Cher Horowitz Memorial Prize for Best Full-On Monet Dress.
The “Wait, Is That Pacey from ‘Dawson’s Creek’ In the Background?!” Award.
Best use of Bradley Cooper as Luciano Pavarotti in the upcoming biopic “The Three Tenors: The Sexy Years.”
The “Don’t Come For Me, Pharrell” Prize for Best Hat.
MARY-KATE AND ASHLEY OLSEN
The Shadow Demons from “Ghost” Award goes to these outfits the Olsen twins will most likely wear as they drag your soul to the afterlife.
DAVID BURTKA AND NEIL PATRICK HARRIS
Most Emo, Smuggest Circus Ringmasters in All the Land.
SARAH JESSICA PARKER
Dress I Most Want to Play Tic-Tac-Toe On.